


Best Friends in the Whole World

by kittensmctavish



Category: BuzzFeed Violet (Short Films), Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Baked Goods, Baking, Break Up, Crying, Demiromantic Character, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, Seemingly Heterosexual Character, feeling broken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 03:50:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14393688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittensmctavish/pseuds/kittensmctavish
Summary: Shane first meets Sara at The Quiltbag.(Or: college AU where Shane and Sara are both on the asexual spectrum, as well as best friends in the whole world.) (Also, Sara bakes.)





	Best Friends in the Whole World

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic is from a dead deceased corpse of a fandom that doesn't exist anymore. i replaced the names, rewrote some passages, and tried to make characterization more fitting (unsure if i pulled that off, things still may be a bit OOC). because i loved this fic then and i love it now and i wanted to share it with the world.
> 
> (also, my pathetic ace ass craves moar ace representation in things.)
> 
> ten squillion and one thanks to poiregourmande for letting me blab at her about this fic and certain aspects of it.

Shane first meets Sara at The Quiltbag.

It’s a club, so named for the acronym QUILTBAG, standing for Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans, Bisexual, Asexual, Gay.

Shane isn’t sure what to expect as he walks into the common room of one of the larger dorms. A circle of chairs, full of people sharing sob stories and coming out stories? That’s how he assumes these things work. He’s not that familiar with extracurricular groups – never time for that before college.

So he’s pleasantly surprised to hear a mix of dance music playing softly in the background, as people he’s unfamiliar with commune around a table laden with refreshments – cookies, cups of trail mix, crackers and a cheeseball, a large bowl of bright pink punch kept cool by brightly colored ice cubes.

He sips punch and watches conversation for a while, scanning the crowd, looking for a face he recognizes, even the tiniest bit.

He doesn’t recognize her face at first, but her hair. Hard not to miss that mass of violet curls. She turns her head ever so slightly and catches him in her eyes. Smiles in the same mild recognition, a tinge of surprise in her eyes. But they approach each other, exchange you’re-in-my-literature-class-aren’t-you’s, handshakes, and names.

As they move their way down the refreshments table, grazing but not seeing anything they’re particularly hungry for, Shane tells Sara how he has no idea what he’ll do with his life, so best to get requirements out of the way first. Sara fills a cup with punch and purple ice cubes as she discusses her focus in art, how she loves to create, how she’s been drawing since she was a child.

Within five or ten minutes, their punch cups newly filled, they’re sitting in chairs in a corner, away from the crowd, exchanging their backgrounds. How they came to conclude that they were asexual.

***

Shane had never really thought about dating girls. Or boys, for that matter. There was too much to get done at school, homework-wise and college-application-wise. Too much at home, housework and the like. And there was his part-time job at a small chain-store bakery, worked every summer and occasional weekends and holidays.

When he thinks back over his outside-of-school life, puberty, acquaintances at schools talking about their celebrity crushes, school dances…it had never crossed his mind. Once. Not that he ever felt lonely at all; he’d always been introverted, and preferred solitude to large gatherings.

There’s a difference to being alone and being lonely. Shane never feels lonely, but he enjoys being alone.

The AVENWiki was a huge help in determining his sexual and romantic orientation. He’s definitely asexual, but he’s unsure as to whether he’s aromantic or demiromantic.

As he’s said, he’s never felt bad about never having a relationship up to this point. And he’s never really wanted one.

…okay, his coworker at the bakery, Ryan, has a girlfriend, Helen. And she’ll come in to visit sometimes or to bring Ryan lunch. And Shane will watch their interactions from behind the counter – how Helen laughs at one of Ryan’s abysmal puns, the way she looks at him (like he hung the stars in the sky), or just the way Ryan will go on and on and on about how Helen’s accomplishments or how pretty she looked today or how nice her perfume was…

It’s almost sickening…and yet there’s a tiny part inside Shane that admits that maybe…MAYBE…that would be nice. 

So perhaps if the right person comes along…someone he can make a strong connection with – the Helen to his Ryan, so to speak…perhaps a romantic relationship? Nothing more than that. Anything more has no appeal to him. It doesn’t disgust him, but he just has no interest in it.

***

Sara remembers going on a date when she was thirteen. 

His name was Adam. His locker was next to hers. He was sweet and shy, and quiet. Honestly, Sara hadn’t even known he could talk until he said one day that she looked really nice. (This became a daily thing. Her hair was pretty. He liked that painting she did in art class. Did she maybe want to do something sometime?)

He’d asked her parents first, for permission. Nothing terribly extravagant – ice cream at a nearby parlor and then a walk home. She’d talked a lot. He listened. And smiled (a smile like him – sweet and shy). And halfway home, he paused, took her hand, and asked if he could kiss her. Sara, throat too dry to say anything, nodded, and closed her eyes as he leaned in. He pulled away after a time, blushing. He said he’d wanted to do that ever since he saw her, then kissed her again.

And she’d hated every minute of it.

Sara remembers crying into her mother’s lap all night after she got home. There was nothing wrong with him at all, but the affection, the kissing…it was too much for her. She remembers wailing to her mother that she was a horrible broken person because he was so nice and he liked her so much and she couldn’t like him like that, she didn’t want that ever. She remembers her mother stroking her hair, fingers snagging in curls, soothing her with it’s-all-right’s and you’re-not-broken’s. She didn’t have to like him if she didn’t. There was no hurry to find a boy; she was young yet.

Sara remembers biting her lip to keep from telling her mother she didn’t even want to find a boy. She didn’t ever want to be kissed again or anything more that came with it, that she never wanted to share her bed with anyone. But she said no more. She cried and fell asleep in her mother’s arms.

In the morning, her mother dabbed her face with a cold washcloth, to ease the puffiness in her eyes. And then they baked soda bread and toasted slices for breakfast, slathering them with peach jam.

***

By the time Shane and Sara are done with their stories, their punch has gone muddy, from the colored ice cubes melting into the already colored punch.

Shane says he’s still trying to figure himself out, but the AVENWiki has been a great help in narrowing things down and explaining things. Sara’s willing to help him talk it out, if he ever needs, but ultimately, it’s his call what he is, not her decision to make.

Sara still doesn’t seek to share her bed with anyone – the very idea makes her stomach lurch. But she’s not as opposed to certain types of physical affection anymore, so long as whoever her partner will be respects who she is and whatever boundaries she has.

A pause later – quiet but not uncomfortable – they shift into discussing the syllabus for their shared literature course. There are a few group projects coming up, and won’t they be partners? Yes, please, that would be delightful.

***

It’s two months into the semester when Shane learns Sara can bake.

They’re holed up in her dorm room, discussing which pilgrim from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales to write a small presentation about, when Sara asks if Shane is hungry. His stomach growls his answer for him; they’ve been working for nearly an hour now, and a break wouldn’t be bad.

She pulls out a Tupperware container full of cookies, lacy oatmeal ones. They’re thin, crispy, buttery but not too much so, and he has to know where to buy them, he’s addicted now. He just about falls out of his chair when Sara says she baked them.

They’re nothing special, really, an old family recipe. And baking is just something she does when she has some downtime and needs to unwind. She’s not that great.

Shane disagrees utterly. “Not great” are the stale loaves of bread and limp pastries he’d shill out at the bakery over summers. She’s above and beyond great.

But he’s only tasted the one thing she’s baked. How does he know it’s not a fluke?

Then she’ll just have to bake more. After all, he has a birthday coming up soon. Sara tosses a pillow at him for that remark, but asks what his favorite kind of cake is, and she’ll see what she can do.

***

The Quiltbag has a Christmas party, and everyone is asked to bring something sweet for the holidays. Shane settles for a tin of Walker’s shortbread cookies, while Sara bowls everyone over with a tray of brandy snaps, thin crispy golden cookies molded into tubes and piped full with a fluffy vanilla cream.

The punch hadn’t been spiked, and brandy snaps are traditionally brandyless, but everyone is giddy and on a sugar high from the treats, and before he knows it, everyone is singing Christmas carols. Well, slight variations of Christmas carols.

There’s a college loan interpretation of “Santa Baby”, a VERY naughty “The 12 Days of Christmas” set in a sex shop (“five cock rings” and such), a wassail about wassail (whatever exactly it is), and a song called “The 12 Days AFTER Christmas”. Despite her protestations that she couldn’t sing, Sara was needled into performing SOMETHING, so she delved into her best Kyle Broflovski voice to perform “The Lonely Jew on Christmas” (It’s ridiculously hilarious and adorable, Shane thinks. …Hilariadorable. He invents that word. He is proud of that word.)

Shane CAN sing. And he busts out an old chestnut to roast over an open fire. A surprisingly operatic rendition of “Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas” from “Mystery Science Theater 3000”. Sara seems to have never heard of the song, because she completely loses it at “or we’ll tear your throat out and nip you in the eeeeeeeeeear!” Her laughter floats over him, light and airy and crisp as a brandy snap.

***

Their final project for their literature course involves a 10-to-12 page paper and an 8-to-10 minute class presentation on a topic of their choosing, from one of the authors they’ve read that semester.

Shane and Sara choose “Mrs. Warren’s Profession”, by George Bernard Shaw (not read in class; “Pygmalion” was). The topic? Vivie Warren, and evidence theorizing, perhaps even proving, that she is asexual. Sara has been convinced since she was fifteen, everything about her clicking since Vivie said “I must be treated as a woman of business, permanently single and permanently unromantic”.

Shane reads the text of the play several times as they assemble the paper and presentation, and grows to admire Vivie as well. How comfortable Vivie is in her own skin, comfortable with who she is. No romance. Numbers and calculations instead. And it’s strange, but that’s what inspires him to take his math course next semester.

***

The math class is a summary of everything Shane had covered before coming – algebra, geometry, and such – drifting into more advanced math, and ending with fractals.

As the class goes on that semester, Shane is surprised by just how much he likes it. How satisfying it is to reach the correct answer after several tries and minutes of calculating and experimenting and looking at it from other angles. He likes the logic behind mathematics – it’s all very straightforward and, once he memorizes the need-to-know’s of it all, uncomplicated. And a bonus, of course, but the hypnotic beauty of fractals is too delicious to pass up.

He tells Sara over a plate of blondies that he thinks math may be his focus – or accounting or…anything so he can continue working with numbers. Sara takes the walnut-laden square of brown sugar pastry away from him, saying he’s nutty enough as it is for wanting to do that.

But baking requires mathematics, he reminds her. Precise measurements. Too much or too little of this and that and the whole batch is off. She nods slightly, taking his point.

But from that day on, when he’s studying in her presence, too lost in the problems to solve or the proof he’s trying to crack, she’ll call him back to earth with a “Vivie”.

***

The years at college pass, Shane burying himself in mathematics, Sara in art. As their studies come into focus, they have no more classes together. But they have The Quiltbag, and they still study together, Shane scribbling away about the quadratic formula, Sara revising a sketch for a sculpture idea or hissing at Shane to keep still as she draws him.

At some point, Sara introduces blue into her hair, meshing with the purple, before eventually replacing the purple altogether. (After one fresh dye session, she greets Shane with teal-tinged hands. Shane make Smurficide jokes all day. Sara pretends not to be amused, but her failure to suppress smiles suggests otherwise.)

Their circles of friends and classmates begin to think they’re a couple. They laugh at it over cups of tea and freshly baked muffins. Nothing of the sort, they tell the naysayers – just best friends in the whole world.

Sara bakes more and more, her studies never suffering for it, but enough to begin thinking that she could perhaps make a side career out of baking, next to art. Shane never encourages nor frowns at any ambitions she may be having. He helps her talk them through. It’s ultimately her decision, he tells her – just as she did that first night when they first met.

***

The summer after his third year of college is when the questions begin to become more frequent. Shane was all too familiar already – do you have a girlfriend yet, or boyfriend, that’s all right too, of course, whatever makes you happy, do you ever think about family, you’re so good with kids.

It’s not just his parents. Extended family as well, of course. But from his parents the most. And he’s fed up enough to finally tell them.

They’d never known about The Quiltbag, or had any inkling that their son had no desire whatsoever for that kind of companionship. They’re very quiet, at first. Shane’s mother smiles – not her usual kind smile, but the kind she gets when she’s been told something very upsetting. He is the same way. He laughs at bad news first, out of nervousness, before the tears come.  
It would almost have been better for him to tell them that he loved men, he thinks bitterly afterwards. At least then there would have been the possibility for bringing home a special someone. 

It’s just a phase, they say. Perhaps you’ll change your mind one day. You just haven’t met the right person yet. Shane can only take so much of it before he’s locking himself in his room, calling Sara, and only barely getting it out before he cries.

The phone call is mostly silence after that, faint sounds of breathing on each side of the line. Comfort in simply knowing the other person is there.

A few days later, Shane receives a box full of sugar cookies, frosted purple and white. To add the grey and the black would have been far too obvious, Sara says in her letter, signed with love and courage.

***

Shane and Sara meet Steven their third year of college. He’s skinny, bubbly, a terrible dancer, and utterly besotted with Sara from the moment of meeting her.

She is flattered, but refuses his invitation for coffee. They must get to know each other first. He needs to know what she is, and things will play out from there. If he so much as begins to say “One night with me and you’ll change your mind, be cured”, she will forget all about him.

That isn’t the case. 

Steven begins to hang around with them more and more during their study times. Shane will look up every now and again from a proof when Sara and Steven laugh about something or Steven regales Sara with the history behind one of the many films he’s studying.

Shane can’t pinpoint when Steven and Sara’s connection evolves from friendship to more, but he does nearly drop his math book on his foot the first time he sees Sara kiss Steven. After that, he can’t stop noticing all the little touches – casually holding hands as they both read their respective class books, Sara leaning back against Steven as they watch a film, Steven leaning over to kiss Sara’s forehead if she’s concentrating too long and too hard on a drawing.

They both even dye their hair the same color. (Sort of. Steven’s hair ends up more of a rose gold, while Sara’s is a bright pink. It fades to rosiness, though, after a time, so it still counts. Even if it doesn’t match Steven’s hair, which fades to a silvery blond.)

He’s not jealous of Steven, per se. Steven and Sara are lovely together. He’s just wary, knowing Sara’s reservations about physical affection. Sara assures him many a time that she’s perfectly comfortable with Steven. If he ever oversteps a boundary, she will inform him. Shane mustn’t worry.

***

Despite this, despite how long Sara and Steven are together, Shane and Sara still get mistaken for a couple.

Perhaps it’s their interactions at The Quiltbag, as they are both members and Steven is not. Steven, who says he is straight, visits the one time The Quiltbag allows allies to visit, but there are many conversations and jokes that fly over his head.

Perhaps it’s because Shane and Sara are constantly stopping into each other’s classes right before they start for various reasons. Sara’s sketchbook ended up in Shane’s backpack, or Shane left his math book at Sara’s dorm.

Perhaps it’s because Shane is able to make it to Sara’s senior art show, while Steven is trapped in the editing room for a classmate’s short film. Shane gives her a single peach-colored rose (from Steven) and a bag of ground semolina (from him). She loves her flower and her flour.

Steven is never jealous of any of these mistakes. He understands that Sara has a connection with Shane that he cannot have, a connection that he does not understand in full. He respects that. And besides, it’s not like they’re getting up to anything behind his back at all. Steven understands the affection between best friends in the whole world, and how it differs from romantic affection.

***

Shane is still Sara’s go-to when it comes to new recipes – blueberry scones, apple tartlets, pecan pie squares, a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls. Steven partakes as well, but more because everything is so delicious and his stomach is seemingly bottomless, despite his lanky frame. Shane tells her if there needs to be a pinch more baking powder or if there’s too much vanilla extract and such. He never does this to belittle her baking; he does this to help her, to make her better. She knows this and appreciates the help.

Shane is the first person Sara goes to with news, telling him that she will be opening an Etsy shop for her baked goods and artwork. The name of her shop is the same as her Twitter handle - sweetestsara. Shane hugs her excitedly, and Sara hugs him back with more readiness and comfort than she ever hugs Steven (Shane notes this and afterwards hates himself for it. He’s not jealous, he swears).

She is, at the moment, working on a series of recipes related to various aspects of nerdity. Her two best recipes so far, she boasts, are lemon cream cakes that she believes Sansa Stark would love, and her take on lembas bread (which she plans to advertise as “sabmel bread”, to avoid copyright fairies coming to knock on her door).

Come Christmastime that year, Steven gives Sara a set of silver filigree hair combs. Shane gives her a new whisk and new set of measuring spoons, as she has needed both for some time.

***

It’s near the end of that year when Shane meets Andrew.

It’s not in the best way, either. He’s rubbing his eyes and walking to the communal bathroom of the dorm when he spots, down the hall, a lean, blond-haired figure lingering at Steven’s door, kissing Steven before leaving.

He’s certain it’s not a trick, and he ducks his head as the blond-haired man passes him, continues to rub his eyes as though he is still sleepy and not jolted awake just then.

Later that afternoon, he tells Sara as she whisks away at a pot of lemon curd simmering on the stove. She doesn’t look up, but says the name “Andrew”.

She and Steven placed a compromise when they began dating. If Steven met someone who could satisfy the needs she couldn’t – sexual needs - that was fine by her. Hence, Andrew. She’s met him. He’s quiet, seemingly apathetic, but nice. He’s good for Steven in ways she isn’t, just as she’s good for Steven in ways Andrew isn’t.

But isn't Steven heterosexual? Shane always thought Steven was heterosexual. Sara laughs and shakes her head, because Steven thought the same thing. Then Andrew happened, and something about Andrew just...clicks with Steven. Sexually, anyway. Steven doesn't want more than that with Andrew, and Andrew is cool with that.

Shane can’t ask any more questions, because Steven is bounding into the kitchen, hugging Sara from behind and kissing the back of her neck. She tells him to get away, she needs to focus on the curd, she’ll kiss him later.

***

The week of their final finals approaches, and Shane and Sara hole themselves up in Steven’s apartment, the three of them studying in silence and in panic. They eat and sleep sporadically, not that there’s much to eat in Steven’s apartment. There is enough for Sara to whip together a bread pudding, but that goes quickly. Andrew stops in at one point with takeout and Red Bull, to which Steven declares that he and Andrew and Sara all need to get married immediately. Sara pushes Steven and tells him he’s just sleep-deprived and should probably take a nap, the silly goose.

They ask each other for advice with their papers if they need it, they write and rewrite paragraphs, debate deleting everything they’ve written and starting fresh.

When it’s all done and over with, when everything is finished, Steven is passed out and half-falling off the couch, his feet almost in Andrew’s face. Shane is curled up with Sara in a big leather chair, sketches and equations scattered all over them like a blanket.

***

Shane tugs at his tie, trying to straighten it more before commencement actually starts. Sara giggles and walks over to him, reaching up to adjust it for him, loosening it enough to help him breathe but not so much that it looks sloppy. The tassel of her mortar falls into her face, and she tries to blow it away as she concentrates on his tie. Without really thinking about it too much, Shane reaches down to push the tassel back, away from her eyes, his fingers accidentally tracing her skin as he does. She doesn’t seem to think anything odd of this – just thanks him and smiles at him.

Before he can register it in full, she’s tugged him down so she can lean in and kiss his cheek. They’re graduating. They’ve actually made it. The world is ahead of them now, and she’s so excited and so proud.

Later, through the ceremony, Shane will still feel the quick imprint of her lips against his cheek, that faint hint of lemon he caught on her.

***

A summer off from the worries of college and the worries of real life gives Shane some time to sort out just when he found himself thinking of Sara as anything more than a friend.

He really can’t pinpoint when it happened. Maybe he always had a little bit, and he just wasn’t aware until he sat down and thought about it.

It’s not a matter of sex. It never will be. Sara is a lovely person inside and out, but he can’t see her in his bed in that way, and he knows she will never want that.

But he remembers waking up after finishing his final paper, and her being curled into the chair next to him. The side of her body pressing into his, her head lolling and tucking into his shoulder. How neatly – almost perfectly – she seemed to fit in his arms.

When he thinks back to it, Shane realizes…he wouldn’t mind waking up next to her like that more often.

And he promptly pushes that thought away. Sara is with Steven. She likes him a lot. Maybe even loves him.

She loves Shane too, he knows, but differently. Just as, despite the “in love bit”, Shane has always loved Sara. She’s his best friend in the whole world.

He’s perfectly happy with that, so long as she is happy.

***

It’s a matter of common sense that leads to Shane, Sara, and Steven moving into an apartment together. They’ve all gotten jobs in the same area, and it’ll be much cheaper to live all together than separately.

They all have lucked into the typical desk jobs that entry-level employees generally have – pushing paper, making phone calls, making spreadsheets, tedious repetitive work. But the company Shane works for focuses in financial statements and contracts and other seemingly boring documents, so he can’t complain too much, as math is involved.

In the meantime, sweetestsara is really taking off on Etsy, and Sara is rarely not baking when she’s home. She never sees it as a burden or a hassle; in fact, it helps her relax after a long day of work. And the apartment always smells amazing – of vanilla and chocolate and lemon and comfort.

Steven keeps saying that if Sara loves baking so much and hates her desk job, why doesn’t she look for a job in a restaurant, or open her own place. Sara doesn’t have the training for working in the kitchen of a restaurant, nor does she have the experience to open her own place. Besides, she’s always seen it as just a hobby. How would she sustain herself on it?

Shane never says anything about this; it’s not his place. But he does plot and plan and ask for advice around the office. Maybe if he could help Sara a little…

***

Shane works very Very VERY late one night. He’s been assigned to a very time-sensitive project, and he overlooks everything at least five times before shutting down his computer and heading out for the night.

When he gets home, Sara is still baking. Based on the state of the kitchen, she won’t be done anytime soon. She explains with a calm that Shane doesn’t believe that one of her Etsy customers is local, and requested a variety of baked goods for a bridal shower tomorrow – petit fours, macarons, small dishes of panna cotta, the list goes on. Sara is whisking away at the raspberry curd for scones as she asks Shane to check the macarons in the oven. Shane does; they look and smell fine, but he knows little about pastry.

He walks into the bedroom that he and Steven share, noticing that Steven’s side of the room is rather empty. Odd. He shrugs out of his work clothes and into pajamas before walking back to the kitchen to ask about Steven.

Sara pauses slightly in her whisking. As though she needs to pull together.

Steven left earlier in the evening. He approached Sara that morning, after Shane had left. He loves Sara, and part of him always will. But he wants to be with Andrew. And just Andrew. He’s fallen in love with him.

But isn't Steven heteroromantic? Shane always thought Steven was heteroromantic. Sara forces a laugh and shakes her head, because Steven thought the same thing. Then Andrew happened, and everything about Andrew just...clicks with Steven.

But she can't talk about this right now; she needs to focus on the curd.

Sara says all of this calmly, but her whisking speaks volumes more. It’s a bit too frantic, and the curd seems to have already formed. The egg is beginning to scramble just a little, and the heat seems too high, because Shane can smell something scorching. Sara doesn’t seem to notice, just keeps whisking, fretting on and on about how much baking she’s done today, how much more she needs to do, how she screwed up on one batch of petit fours and had to start all over and that just pushed her back more and no, don’t ask anymore about Steven, she’s fine, really, she just needs to finish.

Shane looks at the macarons again and reaches for an oven mitt, taking out the burnt almond flour cookies. Sara’s whisking picks up, and he tells her the curd is done.

The whisk hits the wall, dark pink raspberry splattering against the white. And Sara is damning everything – the curd, the macarons, the shower, Shane, Andrew, Steven, herself…

Sara presses the palms of her hands to her eyes and lets out a tired sob. The sobs come harder and Shane reaches over to carefully removed the scorched raspberry curd from the burner, turn the burner off, turn the oven off, and pull Sara into a hug. Her palms don’t move, but she buries her face into his chest, tears staining his shirt as she sobs harder – it hurts so much, she couldn’t give Steven what he wanted and she thought it was okay, but now Andrew can give everything to Steven that he wants, and why does she have to be so broken.

She is not broken, Shane assures her. He is the same as her. He knows. There is nothing wrong with her at all. She did nothing wrong.

He holds her as long as she needs to cry it out. She moves her hands eventually to hold him, too, her fingers clutching to his shirt in desperation, as though she’s afraid he’ll leave her, too.

He doesn’t leave her. Why would he? How could he? He stays by her side that night, cleaning the bakeware and helping her finish, starting a new curd and new macarons, macerating strawberries for the panna cotta, doing anything else she tells him to do. She will be up all night as it is baking; the least he can do is stay up with her and help her.

***

The next afternoon, at the shower, Shane helps Sara set up and serve all of the desserts. Sara, despite the events of yesterday, makes everything looks as effortless and without fuss as she generally does. Her hair is fetchingly pulled away from her face, dress pristine, and smile genuine as she mingles with the women who compliment her baking. If one looks closely – very closely, Shane thinks – there’s a bit of redness in her eyes, from crying and from the late night.

Shane does his best to detract from two questions that crop up a lot. Are he and Sara a couple, and does Sara have a shop? Sara’s smile is forced with these questions, but only Shane can tell she forces the smiles. No, she’s single, but they get that a lot; and no, she just works out of her kitchen.

Such a shame on both counts, the nosy ones say. They’re lovely together. Neither Shane or Sara comment further.

***

That night, she tells Shane not to harass Steven or blame him for what he did. He blames himself enough.

It hadn’t been a pleasant conversation between Sara and Steven. For Sara, it was obvious as to why, but Steven was just as distraught. Almost regretful in telling her the truth. Because he KNEW this was one of Sara’s worst-case scenarios made reality. And he hated himself for that, for breaking her heart. But he’d much rather be upfront with her and end it than ever risk stringing her along. Because that was something he could not fathom doing to anyone. Because she deserved so much better.

…it would have been worse, she agrees. She can’t fault that logic, and she can’t hate him for it.

(Shane can. Not as much as the night before, as he will begrudgingly admit that Steven is, in spite of the situation, a good man. Always had been, always respectful of Sara’s boundaries and her orientation. Always proud of her culinary and artistic achievements. Always…impossible to hate.)

(But Steven made Sara cry. He made Sara feel broken. And Shane doesn’t think he’ll ever quite forgive him for that.)

***

In the weeks following Steven’s departure, Shane notices Sara becoming both more distant and yet closer. She’s very quiet towards him – towards anyone, really. But she hugs him tighter every day before he leaves for work, hugs him when he comes home from work, rests next to him on the couch if they watch a movie. And sometimes, she asks if she can sleep next to him.

He chalks this all up to Steven and what he did by leaving. She just misses the little physical affection she likes that Steven would give her and needs it. Or maybe it’s just because Shane told her she wasn’t broken, because he’s her best friend in the whole world, and she just needs to feel not broken and not alone.

It can’t be because she wants anything more. Or if it is, a small part of him hopes, she just hasn’t said it because it’s too soon after Steven. He understands, and he comforts her as best he can.

***

A few months later, one weekend, Sara casually tells Shane over breakfast that she’s considering making sweetestsara her job. Quitting her desk job and supporting herself from home, just baking and art. Stuff to mail to people, stuff to deliver to locals, maybe some catering since the shower was such a success, maybe work on enough art to put on a show at a local gallery, if she can drum up enough of a name for herself.

Shane says he’ll support her in whatever he does. However, a set location may be easiest. Sara bites her lip before taking a bite of blueberry lemon pancake. There IS a space for sale a few blocks over, she says, that she’s had her eye on for a while. No one’s snatched it up yet.

After they’ve cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Sara walks Shane over to the spot, slightly ahead of him, her fingers woven with his. She’s almost running but trying to hard not to, and Shane can’t help but laugh at her excitement. And within ten minutes, they’re standing across the street from the space. It’s small, but not too small, and there’s a sign in the window with a phone number, contact information for leasing the space.

She can see it now – displays of lemon cakes and apple tarts in the window, a chalkboard propped outside the door advertising the latest specials, new paintings and drawings of hers hanging on the walls, and she’s going on and on and staring up at it with dreams in her eyes. She doesn’t notice Shane withdrawing a folder from his attaché case.

When she turns to him to ask what he thinks, Shane reveals that he’s thought of it already.

In the folder are drafts of forms that can be completed with more accuracy by her. To lease the space. Create her shop. He’s always had the feeling that she’d go down this road, and…he will be there to support her. He can even help her manage finances and set prices and schedule caterings and art showings and the like, if she’s really serious about it.

Sara’s mouth is hanging open a bit as she stares down at the paperwork, and she runs her hand over it, as though running her hand over a mink fur coat. Before she can ask how did he know or why, he places a hand over hers, pressing it down firmly over the paperwork. He doesn’t even need to say that she’s so much more to him than a best friend in the whole world. The smile on her face tells him she understands, and she throws her arms around him, tears dripping on to the paperwork. And then she's tugging him down and her lips are all over his face – his cheek, his forehead, his nose, his other cheek, his chin, the corner of his mouth…

Shane isn’t sure if it’s reciprocation or gratitude, but it doesn’t really matter at that moment. They can figure out that later. After the complete contracts and figure out a lease. After they put the bakery together.

Whether Sara’s as in love with him as he is in love with her, they’ll still be best friends in the whole world.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback welcome and appreciated.


End file.
